When the bond grows stronger

Looking into his eyes 11 years ago I was love struck.

I was bit by the love bug hard, and I knew I could never love anyone any more than I did him.

We instantly had a connection, an unbreakable bond.
A bond that felt like it was as strong as it could get.

I think the beginning of a relationship is like being on your honeymoon.

Nothing EVER goes wrong. Everything is picture perfect.

All the negativity in the world gets blocked out, and the world revolves around you, at least for a little while.

Each transition in our relationship has had this.

Engagement. Marriage. First home purchase. Our first child.

The honeymoon phase has happened with each milestone. 

You feel so proud, happy, filled with love, nothing can take the smile off your face.

Our Wedding - June 4, 2005

But, inevitably each uplifting event we have had was followed by a downward slide.

All the build up, just to have a torturous month or two once things settle down.

Whether it was money or stress at work or with family, something always came up to give us a swift kick in the butt. It's like life just HAD to remind us that things aren't always butterflies and rainbows.

Source: flickr.com via Katie on Pinterest

I RARELY talk about these things to friends, even family.

I always try to portray the positive, not the negative.

Maybe its my pride. Maybe its my independence. Or maybe I feel guilty that I just HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH to prevent the negative from creeping up on us. 

Whatever it is that holds me back from opening up has been weighing on me lately and yesterday I hit my breaking point.

We've hit another obstacle in this past month, actually a couple of them. Nothing major in the grand scheme of things, but enough to add a good amount of stress into our lives.

After a heartfelt conversation last night with Mr. D about our finances, why we aren't where we thought we would be at 30, and how I feel inadequate lately in the "providing for our family" department it occurred to me -

THINGS MAY BE HARD RIGHT NOW BUT OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER. 

It hit me like a slap in the face. A true AH HA moment. Even with all the landslides we have had in the past 11 years the one thing that has ALWAYS become better is the bond between us. We have NEVER let the world and its everyday issues come between US. Day to day we have grown and molded ourselves into honest, trusting, unselfish, compassionate, loving and loyal partners. And there is nothing that could be thrown at us that will change that. It's who we are. 

With the good comes the bad, or in our case: 

With The Bad Comes The Good {optimistic, aren't I?}

I burst into tears last night. Not because I have been so stressed over all the new financial burdens we have taken on, or the extra hours Mr. D has had to take on at work that take him away from us, or because I'm not where I wanted to be in my career. 

I burst into tears because 11 years ago I never would have been able to fathom loving someone as much as I do now. I would never have thought it possible. And without him by my side today I wouldn't be able to overcome any of these little hurdles life has thrown at me us. 

We have been through it all, and no matter what we have held on to each other. Wiped each others tears, held each others hands, had each others backs, and stood up for US.

Our bond is unbreakable and just keeps getting stronger.

It's funny how sometimes it takes life throwing you a curve ball to make you see the things that really matter.

We may have it a little rough right now, but we're travelling this bumpy road with each other, and I wouldnt want it any other way.